situation.  ***I’m praying that as I am posting as ‘BMW_up2’ that a certain massive company does not think I’m all over their brand and issue legal proceedings against me!***

My reason for starting this blog is because when I was looking for general support online following my own most recent breakup I could not find any THAT I TRUSTED!  I don’t mean from dating coaches or relationship experts I mean from those actually experiencing a breakup.  What I did find was community after community, thread after thread of whining, bitching, moaning, self-indulgent and quite frankly pathetic-looking recently-made-exes (both men and women) simpering on, like…

‘ugh, my bf/gf just dumped me – I cried, argued, begged, pleaded, licked their boots and told them I would totally sleep in the dog kennel whilst they banged their way through Tinder in the bed we bought together if they only would give me just one more chance’…

This was usually followed by a cocktail of blurb expressed through punctuation-less rantings generated from their washing machine brains and spewing out of their mouths in the form of verbal spaghetti, like…

‘…so when this failed I went straight into strict no contact after three months of trying to be their friend and following a period of 12 hours when I called them five times text them twenty times and sent them an email reminding them of the good times we shared together and telling them how they will never find anybody as amazing as me and that person they were talking to the other day is a piece of **** so they better not replace me with them I said and I only contacted them now in that last email because I wanted to know if I’d left my jumper at their house I mean that’s all I wanted to know HAVE THEY GOT MY GOD DAMN JUMPER that we bought on holiday that time last summer when they told me I was the most amazing person in the world AT THEIR HOUSE and they are ignoring me why are they ignoring me after I poured my heart out in an email which they have clearly read because I got the notification at 06.03 this morning it’s 07.01 this same morning now and I only want to know the whereabouts of my jumper we bought on our romantic holiday last summer which I made very clear in my email???  If my ex doesn’t reach out now I’ve poured my heart out it will be over anyway because I don’t even think I want them anymore guys do you think I should ignore my ex when they contact me?’

Next was sure to be something like…

‘…so, I wrote them a clean slate letter which I’ve just posted through their letterbox and it’s been three days of no contact now and I haven’t heard from them, they’ve got a rabbit so shall I just call them to let them know about the letter in case they didn’t get it because the rabbit mistook it for a carrot and ate it, or shall I leave it another day?  Or shall I go 30 days no contact, ugh, when does the 30 days start?  Have I technically done it because we did break up three months ago and during that time I must have accrued 30 days of not contacting them?  Guys?  Help!  Have I done the 30 days no contact?  If so, when shall I reach out and what do you think I should say, just ‘hey’ or something, play it cool?’.

Then the community responds…

‘No, don’t contact them, stay strong.  I’ve just reached out to my ex and they haven’t replied yet.  I feel worse now…although it’s only been 24 minutes 42 seconds and counting – do think ‘2442’ means something? – guys, is there any hope?  Should I reach out again or should I leave it an hour or two?  Has this final bit of contact made me appear desperate?’

This goes ooooon and onnnnnn, page after simpering page with all of them systematically one after the other breaking down by initiating yet another grovelling, cringe worthy form of contact with their ex, followed by the inevitable over analysing of the even shittier situation that they have ultimately conspired to put themselves in.  Second guessing what ‘being blocked even means’ and giving each other pathetic ill-advice badly disguised as ‘support’ and then…oh god, oh no…here comes the delusional back patting…

‘Well done guys, we’re such a strong group of people here, all helping each other and making our exes regret losing us – hang in there everyone, they’ll be back soon when they realise what they’ve lost but by then we’ll have moved on because we won’t care anymore – their loss’.


This my lovelies is a tough love blog to hopefully wake up a community of emotionally healthy people or those who have made the mistakes BUT aspire to becoming emotionally healthy people during/following a breakup and any potential makeup that may or may not follow.  All of us need to wake up and educate ourselves on how to deal with potential breakups and potential makeups BEFORE THEY HAPPEN because almost guaranteed we are going to be in that position again during our lifetime – that’s the sad reality of dating.  Ultimately I want us to be confident, dignified, genuine and lovable people who recongise our worth and our potential.  Yes, we will all make some mistakes because emotions are involved, but we are going to OWN our mistakes and we are going to LEARN from our collective mistakes through commenting and support for each other and simply NOT. MAKE. THE. SAME. MISTAKES. EVER. EVER. AGAIN.  No flippin’ excuses and no back patting each other for making said mistakes – TOUGH LOVE.

I speak only through personal experience and what I express here are merely my own opinions, thoughts and ramblings based upon my own relationships/breakups/makeups and those I have to some extent witnessed throughout my life.  I’ve had horrible breakups, messy breakups, shockingly-god-damn-fucking-shitty-breakups followed by makeups that should not have happened and makeups that were ruined – I’ve been on the receiving end of them and equally the instigator, I’m sure this goes for all of us….BUT…

I’m going through the worst-best or should it be best-worst (my pea brain can’t work out the correct order of play there) breakup ever, so I’m right with you all, doing the work!  Yayyy – LIFE IS GREAT [a hint of sarcasm intended].

This is because when being broken up with this most recent time, I was (during the breakup), thereafter (in the immediate aftermath) and now (a few weeks down the line) completely in control of myself, my responses, my actions, my worth and ultimately my destiny.  ‘I’ WAS AND ‘I’ AM IN CONTROL OF ‘ME’. 

…This latest one was an absolute keeper so I’m not messing around here now.  I’m going to practice what I preach.  I hope he’ll come back but there’s no guarantees, so this process is for me to heal as well – bonus if he returns.

So for all of you that are taking the time out to read this (thank you), in a breakup situation let’s immediately and without a second’s hesitation take it on the chin, be strong, be consistently strong, be classy and be prepared to take control of our emotions and kick this breakup’s oversized ass from start to finish!  Let’s commence the journey to either getting this/the next ex back (if they are worth it and if you want them) or not getting this/the next ex back but being better at the breakup process.

Dumpees – WAKE T.F. UP to the breakup and potential makeup process.  Let’s do the absolute best we can for ourselves and support each other in an honest and authentic way.  

Have you seen a lot of this over the web?  What are your thoughts?  Have you been ‘one of these people?!’  Are you reformed?!…let me know in the comments below, if you like…

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